The Muskrat Files is satire about a sleep-deprived rodent who has promised you the future and will be delivering it shortly.
The Muskrat Files · The Files
A small chip that promises to upgrade your brain. Currently upgrading a pig's, which he considers a rounding error on the timeline.
Company Flex
The Chip is small. The promise is not: a direct upgrade to your brain, sold with the same wide-eyed, four-hours-of-sleep conviction he applies to rockets and cars alike. Ask him what the upgrade actually does and the answer changes shape depending on which voice note you catch him mid-sentence in.
Currently, by his own telling, the Chip is upgrading a pig's. Progress reports on the pig arrive at odd hours and are treated by him as major news, delivered with the same energy he'd use for a human milestone, because in his head there is no meaningful difference between the two — a brain is a brain, a believer is a believer, a pig is basically a beta tester.
This will change everything, also it might be delayed — the catchphrase applies here with unusual precision, since the Chip is simultaneously the company closest to "basically done" in his announcements and the one with the fewest humans actually wearing one. He does not experience this as a contradiction. He experiences it as being early, which he considers a compliment to himself.
The Short Sellers point at the pig and say it's over. The Believers point at the pig and say it's happening. He points at the pig, at 3am, and posts a meme about AI that has nothing to do with the pig at all, which somehow becomes the most-discussed part of the update. The Chip, in the meantime, keeps being "close," in the same durable way Mars keeps being two weeks out.
Filed, not fact
No market data here.
This dossier states no price, no holder count, no market cap and no contract address, because
none of that exists for an invented rodent's invented chip company.
